I wish I don't fear insects | #16
exploring my irrational fear and possible disgust
Hi friends! I hope you’re well! Even to someone hailing from Hong Kong, lately it feels warm here in Prince George, especially in the sun:
In today’s newsletter:
My fear and perhaps disgust toward certain insects 😵💫
Close encounters in the woods
It all started last Sunday when I took a walk on one of the many trails behind the UNBC campus. The trail itself was lovely. I also enjoyed some silence and solitude by the lake.
There was just one thing: the insects I met on the way. 🦟
I hate to admit this, but as a vegan of 6 years, I still felt this fear and potential disgust when countless insects (my guess was mosquitoes) flew into me. (More accurately it was me who was running into them as I trod into the forest.)
I also realized early on that, thankfully, none of these insects bit me. So the question is: why do I still have this fear and discomfort when I’m around insects?
What evolutionary psychology says
According to the dominant discourse, here are a few reasons why we fear and feel disgust toward arthropods (from flies and cockroaches to spiders, centipedes, and millipedes):
some bite or sting
some are vectors for devastating diseases or can cause allergic reactions
relatively late in evolutionary history, some invade and infest our “safe and clean” homes and private spaces
It’s argued humans evolved such emotions as self-preservation. Apparently, on my walk last Sunday morning, my instinct to yank any insects away when they landed on my skin, was a “rejection response”, a mechanism to keep us safe.
Do these theories explain it all? Was I born to harbor such negative emotions for insects?😳
When & how did you begin to feel toward insects?
Entomologist and ecologist Jeffrey Lockwood explained in his book, The Infested Mind: Why Humans Fear, Loathe, and Love Insects, that:
We are not born disgusted. In fact, for the first two years of life, babies show no signs of disgust.
A capacity for disgust develops between the ages of four and eight—a time in which a child is becoming more independent and less able to rely on parents to provide protection from harmful substances.
The mechanisms through which we acquire disgust are similar to those for fear: we learn through direct experience, observational modeling, and communication of negative information.
Okay, so it’s not just evolution. Lockwood showed how learned and cultural experiences, socialization, media representations, and even the face of a parent who tells their child, “Yuck! Don’t put that in your mouth!” all play a role in our emotional responses toward insects.
Feelings develop over time…and they’re personal
I don’t remember growing up with a strong fear or disgust toward insects as a kid. But I do remember one incident around bees. One day when I was around 15, I was just minding my own business in a park, when 5 to 7 bees lingered on my arms and fingers. (I suspected it was the deodorant I generously used that day.)
In the end, I was not harmed; but since then I noticed myself feeling greater fear toward bees. I know that for me, personal (traumatic) experiences are one factor.
For now, my short quest to explain my emotional responses toward certain insects led me to the conclusion that they’re the results of evolution, experience, and culture.
Epilogue: not all insects are equal
Humans’ collective fear, disgust, and even hatred (for the uninvited guests who invade our homes such as bed bugs) are in stark contrast with some people’s admiration for certain species, such as butterflies and beetles.
While researching this piece, I thought about a conservation (you’ll see the irony here) volunteer trip I went on while I was an undergrad.
I remember researchers and student volunteers alike fawning over colorful butterflies and beetles. I wasn’t immune—I too wondered at my first sight of the shiny jewel scarab beetles. I wasn’t vegan then and hadn’t considered the relative positions on the moral ladder that humans assign to other species.
One researcher had set up a light trap—it was literally called a trap, no obscuring the truth here—to catch invertebrates with a bright light at night. (If my memory didn’t fail me, it was monarch butterflies they were looking for, the butterfly at the top left photo above.) This was, of course, in the name of scientific research.
Now, whether killing some individuals for the sake of “science and conservation” is justifiable, is a topic for another time. But regardless of whether insects can be or are hurt by my fear or disgust of them, I wish I could overcome those emotions, at least to those who have been mostly harmless to me.🤍
ICYMI
I published an Instagram post yesterday about this question that a friend posed: “How do you be kind to someone who’s done something unkind?” Check it out and let me know what you think!✨
That’s it from me this week. I hope you enjoy this email!🙂 See you next week and stay well! :)
Love,
Angel 💙